Seriously folks, this ain’t rocket science
“You’re going to drop that bag right on your foot,” said a young mother to her daughter, who appeared to be about four years old.
There are few things in this world that are more cringe-inducing to me than hearing parents speak to their precious offspring like that young mother was doing to her child, which is predicting that something they are doing isn’t going to end well. Perhaps the modern phrase is it’s a “trigger” to me. …
Online dating is becoming more popular, but may come with more risks
Last week a friend and I were watching a program called “Date with the Devil.” It was a true-crime show which, in this case, profiled a couple who had met on some dating app and she was later murdered by him. My friend said, “I wonder if that’s (online dating) better or worse than ‘bar dating’?”
Let it be noted that this friend is one of the very few people I know who isn’t “online.” He has a flip phone, can’t use a computer — it’s never been relevant to his work or his life in general — and has no desire to change that. …
“Winter blues” affects many people; here’s how to diagnose yourself
Has your normally-active and fun sex drive seem to have fallen off lately, if not completely disappeared? Do you have less spring in your step these days? How about eating and sleeping: are you doing a LOT of either or both? Has your “get up and go just got up and went”? Do you feel like you want to shut out the world and never leave your home because people are all too annoying to deal with?
If you answer yes to some or all of these questions you may have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is a depressive disorder which mostly occurs during the cold-weather months (though apparently some people get it in the warmer months), in the northern climates, and generally happens more in women than men. Its symptoms are pretty much the same as for depression/depressive disorder. …
You, your potential spouse. and any future children may be glad you read this
“The great marriages are partnerships. It can’t be a great marriage without being a partnership.” — Helen Mirren, actor
So you’ve found someone you want to “settle down with” in the traditional sense of getting married. Good for you!!! Let me offer heartfelt congratulations! The giddy happiness, deep passion, the “head-over-heels” feeling of walking on air when you see/hear/think of him or her … all are wonderful feelings that everyone deserves to feel.
To those of you contemplating making your relationship a legally-binding commitment that one expects will last their lifetime, I would like to offer — along with lots of good wishes — a few points to ponder. Not as a marriage counselor, but as a divorced women who is rather observant, who loves to watch people and their behavior, and is an avid, long-time student of psychology …. a woman who has been watching and participating in relationships for — well, let’s just say many, many years. …
Something that surely many people need to hear
It was last year, I believe, when my wonderful therapist said, “I don’t think you’re bat-shit crazy, Carlene! You’re just you.” She said this because over the three-plus years I have been visiting with her, I’ve told her the long story of “what is wrong with me” and detailed the various traumas I have been though, and why I believe I am, ummm, a wee bit nutty.
(Some of my favorite people have said, when I tell them I’m
“crazy”, that I’m the ‘good’ crazy, or the ‘fun’ crazy. …
There are a few similarities to the two diseases
“In some ways, COVID-19 is kind of like STDs (sexually transmitted diseases, what were called venereal diseases in the 70s),” said a dear friend of mine several months ago. She explained that in the case of both the coronavirus and, say, syphilis, if we get it or think we’ve got it, we should tell others so they can avoid us and/or seek treatment if they choose. Which is true and I agree.
She also noted that some people seem to be ashamed about having coronavirus (and why they would be ashamed boggles my brain). Apparently this was the case in the first known incidence in our small midwestern town. A well-known man, a frequent patron of the local liquor establishments (i.e., bars), tested positive but didn’t seem to want to let everyone know. He actually denied it, according to my friend. Which in my mind was selfish and thoughtless to those who are in contact with him regularly. …
This is partially due to limited access to care and treatment, which should concern us all
We all know, from eight-plus months of stories and endless information on the novel coronavirus that causes COVID-19, that it’s a so-called equal opportunity sickness: it strikes everyone, regardless of age, gender, or economic circumstances. Unfortunately it is also unavoidably true — as in the cases of many illnesses — that poor people are more likely to suffer and possibly die from the virus.
Perhaps this is not the case in other industrialized countries, such as in Europe, Asia, and others that have socialized health care. But it is a fact of life here in the U.S. that medical care is so ridiculously expensive that it’s practically a luxury. Therefore, the economic situations of some people in this country mean that poor people have less access to medical care, might not have health insurance, or they lack the resources to get to a medical facility to get tested and/or cared for. Sad, but true, and maybe not many of the more “more well-to-do people” think much about it. …
A three-step guide toward moving forward
So, how are you all doing with those things, great and small, that you promised to do because of lockdowns and isolation due to the COVID-19 pandemic? Not very well? You’re not alone. Not everyone has — including myself — achieved all they planned to do with all their “free” time. So don’t feel bad.
Even though there is now at least three drug companies working on reportedly promising vaccines for the coronavirus, here in the U.S. and also in the UK (to my knowledge), there is still a stretch of “shutdown” left for many of us to to live through. …
Your mindset, words and actions become your kids’ reality; choose them wisely
There’s the terrible twos, terrible threes on up to the terrible teens, 20s, 30s and beyond. It never ends….
The above quote was uttered by my late, great mom more than 30 years ago. To my perception that pretty much sums up her attitude on parenting. I can’t help but wonder if many others don’t also share with her that very same attitude toward raising kids, given all the ‘wounded souls ’ who are wandering around out there nowadays.
In all fairness, this attitude wasn’t formed in a vacuum; she was raised by parents who were bathed in the scripture whatever strict religious dogma in which they were raised. As such it is with this teaching, everything in life — parenthood being one of them, I’m sure — was a chore, a duty, something to endure because it was “God’s work and we must do it (like it, or not).” …
Even though circumstances may lead you to believe otherwise
In the current state of the world — with the coronavirus pandemic coupled with the worldwide unrest that was sparked by the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis at the end of May — one would think that civility, respect and caring for our fellow human has completely gone by the wayside.
It isn’t hard to believe this, and this pessimistic view of people and the world at large is fanned by the various media in the stories they print or air on the news. You would come to this conclusion, depending on the media which you consume. …