Dear Parents: If You Want to Raise Competent Kids, Have Some Confidence in Them

Seriously folks, this ain’t rocket science

Photo by Park Troopers on Unsplash
  1. Instead of focusing on problems (the negative view) call in a challenge and urge your kids to think them through and try to solve their challenge. This will foster confidence, rather than doing it all for them, when they learn they actually can do whatever the task is. Price-Mitchell writes, “Solving problems for children makes them dependent, not self-confident.” (Eureka! Exactly what I said above!! )
  2. Praise children for their efforts not their intelligence. Notice the positive things they do, such as showing empathy or sharing with others, etc., and point them out, noting that you are proud of them for their positive actions.
  3. Help kids learn from their mistakes; don’t make it into a huge “catastrophe” if they make mistakes. It’s how one learns necessary and useful lessons from their not-do-good decisions that is a measure of character. Mitchell-Price writes, “Acknowledge that you don’t expect our children to be perfect and let them know your love is unconditional regardless of their mistakes. Helping them see their mistakes as learning opportunities rather than defeats is key to positive parenting.”
  4. When your kids fall short of something, offer positive encouragement and guidance to your kids to “bounce back”. Towards this end Mitchell-Price suggests “be a helpful guide as your children identify their challenges, reflect on their choices, arrive at decisions, adjust their strategies, and plan next steps. When you do this,” she says, “you’ll be fostering your child’s resiliency.” (Now, isn’t THAT a wonderful goal??
Photo by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash

Experienced professional writer/freelancer and former newspaper reporter-turned-online writer/blogger. Thinker. “Old soul”, young hippie, empath.

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