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Dear parents of multiple children, please stop playing ‘favorites’
Though most parents who have multiple children— when asked which of their children is their ‘favorite’ — will likely say, “Oh, I don’t have a favorite child,” it is very possible that some (most?) of them are lying. In families of two or more kids there is almost always that one kid who stands out for some reason or another, who reflects what the parent sees in her- or himself, perhaps who will follow the unfulfilled dreams of the parent (who is looking to achieve said dreams through their child). Birth order studies show that the first child is “the leader” and subsequent children are peace makers, family uniters, etc., and often it is the “leader” (who isn’t necessarily the first-born) who is the “favorite.” One kid just “happens” to be the overachiever, and therefore stands out from the crowd … and mom and/or dad praises, brags about, and highlights that kids talents/ambition/what-have-you to all who will listen … including the other children.
For this reason, I’m asking — no, begging — parents of multiple children: If you become aware that you are praising one child way more than the others, giving disproportionate attention to one child, and even grooming one kid for a career you never quite attained because life sent you down a different path…please stop making your ‘favoritism’ toward that child obvious to everyone. It not…
