Lessons Learned From Having Been Married, Then Divorced, I Want To Share With Others

You, your potential spouse. and any future children may be glad you read this

Photo by Ryan Pouncy on Unsplash

Entering marriage (or anything, for that matter) without much forethought could b a huge mistake; one that could lead to misunderstandings, unhappiness, arguments, and in the worst-case scenario, divorce. So for what it’s worth, I’d like to offer some points to ponder if you are seriously serious about tying the knot.

  1. Assess your relationship honestly. Are you a good couple who works and plays well together? Who genuinely enjoys being together, no matter what you’re doing? Can you see yourself with this person day in, day out, year after year, in good times and not so good times? Are you not just your partner’s lover/companion but also their very good friend who gives time, energy, a listening ear, and other things to you that any good friend would do? Or is there pressure from outside sources — parents, friends, “society” in general, a so-called “biological clock” — that is urging you to just go out and grab someone and make it legal?
  2. Do you have arguments/disagreements, and if so, how is your conflict resolution practices as a couple? Some people claim they “never fight” which is hard to believe,. That might just mean they don’t tackle “serious” issues, but rather might just sweep those issues under the rug and don’t deal with them. Not a good idea. I look at this as similar to when you have health problems or issues with your car: if you keep ignoring the “little things” (like a knocking in your engine) it could lead to some really big (and expensive) repair (like a complete overhaul). Attend to the little things before they blow up into big things, but pick your fights wisely. Some things just aren’t worth the time and effort of fussing about.

Experienced professional writer/freelancer and former newspaper reporter-turned-online writer/blogger. Thinker. “Old soul”, young hippie, empath.

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