Love it!! You described a lot of reasons why I too would rather live alone (umm, well except for my cats), TV noise being up toward the top of the list for me.
I’m sure that on one hand people might perceive this as being written from a place of bitterness. On the other hand, some might read it as a primer to people with broken hearts to show them the bright side of their single-ness and subsequent solitude.
Good article, dude!