Love this!!! Great article with much no-nonsense sense, eye-opening advice.

Yup, I’ve spent waaayyy too much time in my many years (most of which I’ve been single/divorced) of life with people who “weren’t really into me". I saw ALL the signs that this article presents and yet dismissed them because, well, I’m a matter at rationalization.

In my so-called “middle age" it hit me really hard that I’ve been doing this--settling for shallow, unsatisfying, non-relationships-- because of deep attachment needs (I’ve been diagnosed with ADD, which kinda helped explain a LOT) that came from not having my emotional needs and deep bonds that I needed as a child. This combined with my anxious attachment style that probably springs from the same origin. These two scars caused me to chase men and then quickly run away. In the time period I was be dating I usually kept the ones who actually did want to get close at an arm’s length or simply didn’t get involved… because that was safer than exposing myself to the possibility of more hurt and possible abandonment.

People say “love is blind" and I don’t think that’s true. Rather, it’s our strong desire for love/attachment/closeness to another that cloaks our eyes from seeing realities as they are…. And that includes the reality that the other person “just isn’t that into you.”

Great read. Good day!!

Experienced professional writer/freelancer and former newspaper reporter-turned-online writer/blogger. Thinker. “Old soul”, young hippie, empath.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store