Wow. A lot of obvious irritation oozing out of these words. I see this going on in the lives of my grand nieces' mothers; they are quite frazzled, as it sounds (loud and clear) like you are.
Being a mom isn’t easy… never was and never will be. As a Boomer mom myself — now with a so-called empty nest (except for my cats)- -you have my empathy.
I’m proud to say I’m not one of those busybodies who “gives unsolicited advice". Probably because I know how it snowed me when my son was little.
We all do the best we can and how for the best outcome (or at the very least we hope our kid doesn’t grow up to be featured on “Forensic Files”). I don’t think there’s a mother alive who doesn’t feel like she’s screwed up her kids at least once or twice or that she’s a “horrible mother.” Unless of course she’s highly narcisstic (sp??) and believes she’s “ the perfect mom”. Just keep doing what you do … and cheers to you!!